So yesterday marked exactly 14 days until the wedding. Today marks 13. Yesterday just thinking of that caused my hear to speed up. Why? I don't know. I am very secure in the fact that I want to marry Garren. There is no doubt in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but at the same time as the wedding creeps closer I am feeling an increased level of anxiety.
I think that anxiety has more to do with the details and planning of the wedding than the act of becoming a married person. I think I am also over analyzing things in terms of some of the decisions we made. I am feeling a little guilty that we decided to make the wedding such a small affair. While I think it is the right decision for us, especially with the quick nature of our nuptials, I can't help but feel guilty and worried that I may have inadvertently offended extended family members and friends. And I can't help but be sad that I wasn't able to take more time with our wedding plans, save more and invite those people who I really truly love in my life, but cannot invite with our current circumstances (i.e. moving to morocco with a limited budget)
I'm sure with my family and friends this concern is unwarranted. But you never know. Weddings are strange things. With other peoples weddings I am so hands off. I refuse to be offended if I am not included or invited because I know how much pressure can be put on a couple planning their wedding. But not everyone is like that. I have heard others talk of weddings and those they had to invite due to family obligations or because they would throw a fit if not included. It's such an insane thought to me but it does happen. Is someone I know secretly throwing one of these fits?
I hope not. My worst fear is hurting someone who I care about. It's the last thing I want to do with a day that is supposed to be so special for me and Garren.
Like I said I'm over thinking this. It is what I do and Garren is probably rolling his eyes at this post, but there it is.
Seriously. You're not alone. The whole thought of wedding planning completely depresses me.
ReplyDeletestop being such a people pleaser! As you said, its a day about you and Garren. Period. End of story. Anyone who would ever even attempt to make you feel bad about not inviting or including them is not someone you want in your life. I admire that you always want to put other people first, but this is your day, so don't you dare feel guilty about it.
ReplyDeleteI would officially like to say on behalf of everyone who can't be there that a) we're thrilled for you both and happy to see you this weekend (or whenever) to shower you with well-wishes, b) we like imagining your beautiful, intimate, Santa Barbara wedding way better than costing you a hundred bucks a head to host at some reception that would only stress you out, and c) if we're intent on witnessing and supporting your marriage, we'll come visit you in Morocco. That said, if there's someone who you need there to make it feel like a real wedding, you should invite them. Period. The people are not there for any reason other than to witness your commitment and symbolically sign up to be the ones to help you keep it through the tough times. The rest of us are perfectly happy to help even if we're not there.
ReplyDeleteWell said, CK!
ReplyDeleteI will definitely be coming to help with your marriage in Morocco. And I find it's most helpful to a marriage if the bride and groom cook for me every night and leave little mints on the pillow in the guest house, okay?
I have the best friends (and sister!). :) Seriously. Why do I even worry?
ReplyDeleteThank you guys. What you all said means a lot to me. (Kristen I'll work on the mints.)
omg omg!! how have we never noticed that christine's initials are the same as clark kent's?!?!!? you have provided me a marvelous jimmy (the photographer not the lobster) memory, kris.
ReplyDeletealso total nod to christine's comment.