Stop. Reject.

I have not been doing well on keeping up with my short term goals. Pathetic really. And all I can say dear readers is that I am exhausted. You would think that living where you work would be easier, no commute, you can go home for lunch, but really all you end up doing is working more because you just have to walk upstairs and you just want to finish one more thing. And the truth is I like having a commute (a short one mind you) but I need that 20 minutes to wind down, relax and process my day.

Basically I come home, lie down and do not want to move. Kept Man was always good at getting me to go out, to keep me from being a bed potato, but he's off traveling and I'm here in Prague in the hotel room wallowing.

And I want to say Stop. Reject. No wallowing. No depression. Get up and do something. You're in Prague. It's new. It's different. But the truth is that I'm over not having a home. This whole year has been starting off new in two different places and as soon as I start feeling comfortable in one I'm yanked away. I miss having a place of my own. A kitchen. Family. Close friends. A life outside of work. I wish I could look at it as one big adventure. I wish I could not take it all so seriously and just enjoy what I do have. But for the most part I find not being able to plan out my personal life and things I want to do frustrating. I do not like being all about work.

I'm hoping to have some answers about where the rest of this year will be going in the next few weeks. I hope that the rest of this year will be settled in one place or another sometime soon and I hope that makes me happy.

And that is where I am at today. I promise that the next blog will be less blah and more fun. Kept Man and I visited Cesky Krumlov last weekend with some friends and as soon as I can access the pictures I'll be sure to post about the trip. Which is fun and upbeat. Really. I swear.

Ball of Stress

So I heard back from Morocco today. Still no contract. Someone is sick but I was told that my start date would be July 1st. And it sounded like that was non negotiable. I just about had a full on real panic attack after getting the email. That's 5 weeks away. With no real time for a wedding unless we just run off to city hall, which we don't want to do. This after they delayed the whole interview process by 3-4 weeks. Those extra 3-4 weeks would have meant time to plan, move and not freak out. 

I'm not ok with this. After panicking with my mom on the phone and Garren in person I went to go see my HR Director. She understands that I want the position but that the start date is unacceptable to me. August 1st would be better and barring that I'll take late July. Is it really that much to ask? Anyway she's going to step in and pretty much negotiate on my behalf. I told her that my concern was coming off as having wasted the their time and creating a bad reputation for myself within the company. I told her that the start date, especially after everything that has happened with this process is not something I'm willing to negotiate about. If they are not willing to bend on this at all, I'm going to let the opportunity go. And really giving me another 2-4 weeks is going to be way less time consuming than having to find another person for the position. I'm just worried again about my reputation and the reputation of the people I work with. My other problem is that the folks in Morocco have the impression I've said yes to the offer verbally even though I never did anything of the kind. I said I was excited and that I was looking forward to getting the contract but not saying yes to I'm taking the position.

Anyways to top it all off, I was in work at 6am, with all the turmoil going on I got almost nothing done and wasn't able to leave until 6pm. I'm exhausted between getting up early and being emotionally drained. And then I'm taking time off work next week so this issue is probably still going to be unresolved until I get back. My HR Director is going to write them by this weekend but she's gone starting Wednesday for her own vacation. I feel like there is no end in sight for this whole thing. And I need a definite direction and REASONABLE start date now.

So I'm going to take advice given me today to plan my move as if it will be like I want (late july/early august) and take my week off and relax/plan. Thank god for a house boat, good friends, pirate theme and booze. I need it. 

Think good thoughts for me.