Ball of Stress

So I heard back from Morocco today. Still no contract. Someone is sick but I was told that my start date would be July 1st. And it sounded like that was non negotiable. I just about had a full on real panic attack after getting the email. That's 5 weeks away. With no real time for a wedding unless we just run off to city hall, which we don't want to do. This after they delayed the whole interview process by 3-4 weeks. Those extra 3-4 weeks would have meant time to plan, move and not freak out. 

I'm not ok with this. After panicking with my mom on the phone and Garren in person I went to go see my HR Director. She understands that I want the position but that the start date is unacceptable to me. August 1st would be better and barring that I'll take late July. Is it really that much to ask? Anyway she's going to step in and pretty much negotiate on my behalf. I told her that my concern was coming off as having wasted the their time and creating a bad reputation for myself within the company. I told her that the start date, especially after everything that has happened with this process is not something I'm willing to negotiate about. If they are not willing to bend on this at all, I'm going to let the opportunity go. And really giving me another 2-4 weeks is going to be way less time consuming than having to find another person for the position. I'm just worried again about my reputation and the reputation of the people I work with. My other problem is that the folks in Morocco have the impression I've said yes to the offer verbally even though I never did anything of the kind. I said I was excited and that I was looking forward to getting the contract but not saying yes to I'm taking the position.

Anyways to top it all off, I was in work at 6am, with all the turmoil going on I got almost nothing done and wasn't able to leave until 6pm. I'm exhausted between getting up early and being emotionally drained. And then I'm taking time off work next week so this issue is probably still going to be unresolved until I get back. My HR Director is going to write them by this weekend but she's gone starting Wednesday for her own vacation. I feel like there is no end in sight for this whole thing. And I need a definite direction and REASONABLE start date now.

So I'm going to take advice given me today to plan my move as if it will be like I want (late july/early august) and take my week off and relax/plan. Thank god for a house boat, good friends, pirate theme and booze. I need it. 

Think good thoughts for me.

No word

As I have been receiving emails and phone calls as to what the hell is going on with Morocco, here is the update:

Nothing. I got an email saying that I should receive the contract shortly, but that was 2 days ago. From what I've been able to gather through my limited contacts it sounds like the opening has been pushed back (although when I asked during the phone conversation the question was avoided) and I get the feeling they're waiting to send the contract unil they can put down a definite start date.

So as soon as I know anything you'll all know something, but fingers crossed the hotel opening is being delayed so that I won't have to start until August/September as opposed to July. Garren and I are not really down with July considering how soon it is.

If they don't get back to me by tomorrow though we may not know anything until the first week of June. Garren and I are going up to Shasta Lake next week for a house boating trip and email access is not an option. (They've been stalling for 3 weeks now, I feel fine stalling my decision for a week while I relax) With all the stress of this whole process, the waiting, the thoughts of moving across the world to a culture I know will cause culture shock, etc we are both REALLY looking forward to spending time with our friends, drinking and laying in the sun like lizards. Then I can come home check my email and see if they've decided anything.

I'm not going to hold my breath.

Santa Barbara Connections

About a week ago Garren and I went to Wood Tavern. Suprise, Suprise. As they came over with Garren's beer (before ordering it) we told them all that we were engaged. They were all happy for us and it was a great booze filled evening.

The best part is that we found out that our favorite bartender (Tony) was one of the owners of the Doghouse (Hot dog stand) that we LOVED in Santa Barbara. When it closed Garren and I were so disappointed. They later opened a place on State Street called Lettuce B Frank but it wasn't the same. Still good but a little bit different. While we were reminiscing with Tony we discovered that he does catering from time to time. Can you imagine? Our BBQ reception that we were thinking of having up at Tilden Park with mini-corn dogs, sliders and gourmet hot dogs. And I'm sure other things that are very bad for my waistline. It is so me and Garren. And so something we would love to do. No classy shin dig for us. More a picnic BBQ with games, fatty foods and sunbathing.

It probably won't happen what with the time crunch that is imminent with this whole move thing, but that's ok. It was a great thought. Either way it was fun discussing SB and the restaurant scene with Tony. Although sad that the Doghouse closed due to outside circumstances. But I may get a Doghouse tshirt as a memento! Silver lining people. Silver lining.

Morocco is a go

I'm getting an contract probably by tomorrow. To look over. And then sign. I got a little bit more money offered. I need to do math, but if we want to go, Garren and I can move to Morocco.

Freakout is an understatement for what I am feeling right now.

Ways to make me not move to Morocco

So I should be on the phone right now. Or finishing up a call. But I'm not. Because no one called. Yeah. Great way to give me confidence in the decision I'm trying to make about moving across the globe and leaving everything I know.

This is the woman that could be my direct boss. And she didn't call in for an appointment she set up to work with her schedule. 1. I hope she's ok. 2. There better be a damn good reason for basically standing me up.

hmpf.

Another Call

Call with the Director of Sales and Marketing in Marrakech is set for tomorrow at 10am. I can't even get excited, nervous or sick to my stomach about this. I'm over it. Give me the job, don't give me the job. Just make a decision already. Give me the ability to plan my life back.

blah.

Drama Queen

My aunt is back in the States. Mom got an email yesterday and a phone call today. For those who don't' know this is my father's sister and to say she's a handful would be an understatement. The last time she was here I wrote a blog post which you can find here.

My mom has already tried to feel me out to see if I'll go see her and I've already declined. Multiple times. I just re-read my post from the last time she was here and really I feel no inclination to see her. She is a master of manipulations and I refuse to be manipulated anymore. Can't do it if I don't show up.

She's here for something. It's not to connect as a family. It's because she wants something. And since the last time I saw her there as been no communication. None. Except in the signing of legal papers. Through lawyers. Why randomly show up? Why even bother? It's not like she makes any effort in the years in between her random last minute pop ups. Frankly it's annoying. And if she's here for what I think she's here for, she needs to talk with Ady, because I have vowed to leave the decision making on this particular issue to her. Ady is not here. Ady is in France. Where my aunt came from. Which my aunt knows about. Uber manipulation. ugh.

Garren has volunteered to go with mom. Best fiance EVER. (I think that is the first time I wrote/said fiance regarding Garren!) Totally offering support to mom when I just can't deal. And apparently Erik's willing to go if he's back in town in time. He's curious about the legend that is my aunt. I think mom should take both of her future sons-in-law. They can't be manipulated and will only defend mom and us. The woman would probably still find some way to have it work to her advantage. sigh.

Something Shiny

Garren proposed. On Friday night. I feel weird just typing that. I knew in theory that he would be sometime soon. With this whole possible Morocco move it's something that we've been talking about and I think he wanted to propose prior to any official word on whether or not we are moving in a gesture to let me know that we wants to marry me whether or not we do to Morocco. It's not just so he can come live with me in Morocco and I can be his sugar mama. 

The weird thing about being engaged is i don't feel different but I do feel weird telling people. It's like saying, "look at me! look at me!" I find it very hard to do. I was envious of the phone calls that Garren made. He called his brother Joe and said, "Just wanted to let you know that Nuala and I are officially engaged." Joe's reaction was, "Congratulations man" and then the conversation changed to other things. While I loved talking with everyone. Telling the same story over and over again became a little tiring. AND I hate the phone. I love the people on the other end of it, but I would rather talk to them face to face. And then yesterday when I did have about 6 of our friends in front of us, finding a moment to tell them was hard for me. Again it's the whole look at me thing. Michele was aghast that I told her after we got out of the bathroom of the theatre. The best thing about Michele however was her ability to spread the news. I love it! She immediately texted people who were coming to play rock band as well as anyone else we both know.  Thank you Michele.

For those who care. Garren proposed up at the Lawrence Hall of Science with the view overlooking the Bay Area near sunset. We went to dinner that night at Anchor and Hope in the city where they weirdly had a bottle of Garren's favorite wine from Santa Barbara. We split it and were drunk by the time we got home, where we proceeded to have a shot of jager in honor of the first time we kissed when we both had been fortified with the same liquor. And then we passed out. Some things don't change.

Santa Barbara is Burning

I've been through some fires myself in Santa Barbara and usually the media makes it sound worse than it really is. And in this case I think they area again, but from just hearing the evacuation information it's a little scary. They evacuated parts of downtown, State Street is mostly closed to traffic and in an "evacuation warning" area. Friends Toby and Jade have evacuated from their home as they are also in an "evacuation warning" area and very close to the mandatory evacuation area. My old house on Sunset Road is in the also in the "evacuation warning" area (outskirts, but none the less) which never happened before. The fire is mostly in the hills behind Santa Barbara but it there is a very real threat with high heat and gusty winds expected today that it could spread closer to the city itself.

It seems since Garren and I left SB there have been more fires than we ever experienced while we were there. Or maybe it's just hearing about it from far away and not being there and not really being affected by it. Who knows. Either way Santa Barbara please don't burn down, Garren and I have plans to visit at the end of the month. We need a mini break and to visit favorite places so please for the love of my stomach don't go let the fire spread to my favorite restaurants.

Map of evacuation areas here.

News information from the Santa Barbara Independent here.

Pictures Toby took from his front yard here.

So Lazy

I was too tired when I got home and I didn't go to dance class. Now I am lamenting wondering why I am so lazy. I blame it on being hungry. Ask Garren it makes me even more cranky than I usually am from just being tired. 

I could have gone. After I ate I felt better and I still had time to go, but by then I had it in my head not to go. And now I'm still tired, but I am putting off going to sleep and beating myself up for not getting the very limited weekly exercise which I actually enjoy.

Lazy nuala. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day. 

As a side note sometimes Willoughby actually looks like the cat above when he's sitting on the couch. 

Get on with it already

No word as of yet....for those who care.

I'm getting annoyed by the fact that I seem to have nothing else to talk about but this stupid possible job move. I'm over it. I'm going, I'm not going. I'm freaking about moving my cats across the globe, I'm not. Whatever.

Can I plan my 30 birthday please? Oh no you're in limbo. I just have to sit here and wait until I'm told I can move forward with my life. Stupid.

And I still have nothing else to talk about. God I'm boring.

Cheering Section

Garren and I learned over the weekend that extended members of his family (who I have yet to meet) and their friends (who he has never met) are very excited about our possible move to Morocco.

All I can say is thank you for the enthusiasm. It's nice to know that everyone is pulling for our possible adventure to Africa. I was surprised and touched to know that so many people care and want to be kept up to date on what is happening.

This blog as all of you know is the best place for up to the minute information about what is going on with the application because as soon as anything happens I freak out and HAVE to post in order to vent my nervous energy.

As of right now, nothing further has happened, HOWEVER, they have removed the posting of position from the website which means that either something is about to happen or I'm about to get rejected.

Impending freakout highly likely. Stay tuned.